It's Hard to be Humble

Being Broken

  Over the years I have become quite an independent person, seeking to serve and help others but not often seeking others for help. These past two weeks I have observed the blessings that come from letting others help you. Two weeks ago one of our team members (a spunky older lady who serves in our library) fell and broke her ankle in two places. Since she lives on her own we encouraged her to stay with one of our school families who were offering to help her. It took some convincing to get her to go, since like myself she is fiercely independent and would rather help than be helped. However, upon spending time with the family she thanked me for the encouragement to go and that it has been a blessing to her and to them.

  This week I was faced with the same humbling experience of not being able to do things for myself when I over zealously helped moved furniture and strained my back. Very thankful for American Thanksgiving and the days off of school so that I can allow the muscles to relax and heal. Though the condition leaves me to be flat on my back at the mercy of my flatmates to help me. It is frustrating to be stuck and not able to do the simplest of tasks, yet I have been blessed by the care and generosity of my friends who do not consider it beneath them to put on my socks and tie my shoes.

As I find myself crawling on my hands and knees to get anywhere I think of the lame and the crippled that Jesus met. The desire to be healed and to walk. To not be a burden and have to be carried, fed and clothed by others. Though in my frustration of not being able to do things for myself I have come to consider the lessons to be learned. In my state of brokenness who should I depend on? So often I strive to depend on myself, to get myself through each tough spot and only in last resort do I cry out for God to rescue me. I am learning to not put God as my last resort but my first. To not be so proud as to deny help from others, willing to be served, to be cared for, to know that I am not alone, nor do I need to do this on my own.